Without Laughter
by papafrap
Summary: Can you imagine a world without laughter? Rainbow Dash is left depressed after a certain incident involving the loss of a certain pink pony. These are Rainbow's memories of the happy times with the pink pony and the tragedy that left her scarred forever.


**Without Laughter  
><strong>Chapter One: Do the Clouds Cry for Me?

* * *

><p>The sound of raindrops ricocheting off the window filled the room. I lay on my bed of clouds, listening to the steady ticks as they flew down to the world below. I closed my eyes and tried to rest my soul from the eternal weariness that burdened my heart. Then, the storm grew stronger and the rain began to batter the roof rapidly. A soft booming of thunder echoed and amplified in the canyons. I shut my eyes tighter, this time attempting to block out the clamor in my mind. A few moments later, the storm receded and continued in its soft pitter-patter. I opened my eyes and the world became calm once more. This endless cycle of noise and silence continued through the day. What was I doing? The water was only a distraction: something trivial that I could only hope would make me forget about the life that will never be the same.<p>

My name is Rainbow Dash. I am a pegasus from Cloudsdale, and am the fastest pony in all of Equestria. Or, I used to be the fastest until I... I just couldn't fly anymore. The incident left my wings sprained, but it recovered to its previous status within a week. But the wing wasn't the reason for why I couldn't fly anymore. There was some damage - something that wasn't physical or solely time could heal. It was worse than a broken wing because nopony else could see the pain and suffering I face with every waking moment ever since that day. Ever since that day, I've lost the burning passion for the love of flying.

I've retreated into my bed and refused to leave ever since _that _day. It was the day when the cheerful joy _she_ shared with me vanished away. The precious memories of us looped endlessly in my head like a broken record. Whatever remained of my shattered heart was withered away in the pit of depression. The colors drained away from emotions, leaving my soul in grayscale. The world wasn't the same without _her_ laughter.

"Rainbow! Rainbow Dash?" Somepony was knocking from the other side of the door.

"Are you alright, dear?" Another voice asked.

I knew by their voices that it was none other than two of my best friends, Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. But, like the other instances of their visits I lay under the covers silently. I couldn't answer them yet, not like this. I needed more time alone away from everypony that reminded me of _her_.

"Rainbow! Please Rainbow, answer me!"

I left the safety of the covers and opened the door to let them in. I sighed. I wouldn't abandon anypony again. They stood on the soaked clouds, manes wet and blowing wildly in the gale.

"This storm is just - terrifying!" Rarity said, drying her mane on the cloud wall. "Oh, would you just look at what it'd done to my mane!"  
>"Nothing like this has ever happened before in Equestria. Ponyville is nearly flooded!" The purple pony nodded to Rarity, who opened her waterproofed saddlepack and brought out a golden ticket.<br>It levitated to my hoof, where it fluttered down and came to a rest. It read, "The Wonderbolts Tour: Fly with the best". I didn't know how to respond. I was grateful for her generosity, but the pain of my suffering was not something that would disappear so easily.  
>"It's for you!" Twilight said, trying her hardest to fake a smile. "The Wonderbolts will be in Canterlot next week, and I begged Princess Celestia to get you these tic-"<p>

I placed the ticket on the nightstand, turned away, and flopped back under the covers.  
>They glanced at each other worriedly. My friends were well aware of my admiration for those great ponies, and it was my life's dream to soar in the sky with them. My sudden disinterest was an obvious sign to Twilight, and it confirmed her suspicion that something was indeed very wrong. Nopony spoke for the next minute, until she broke the silence. "So, how have you been, Rainbow?"<p>

I was silent.

"These are quite - beautiful" Rarity said nervously, staring into a vase of drooping daisies.

I was silent.

My two friends scuffed the floor with their hooves awkwardly. Even Rarity, who always had something to critique, didn't dare muster a peep. I knew that they were trying to avoid bringing up what happened _that_ day and were trying to ease me into small talk, but I could tell by their nervous twitching that they too missed her dearly and that a conversation was both necessary and inevitable.  
>Twilight lay beside me and placed a foreleg across my back, holding me tightly. "Rainbow," she said in a comforting voice, "it's okay to feel sad. We're want you to know that we're always here to help."<p>

"I-I don't..." My lip trembled as I thought of the friend I've lost. I didn't want to cry and I tried to repress the memories, but I was no longer in control of my body. "I-I don't know w-what you're saying." Tears rolled out of my eyes and streamed down my face. "I-I'm not crying - _she_ said to be strong and not cry. I'm not crying!"  
>"You are strong, Rainbow," Twilight said, wiping the tears away from my cheek, "but it's normal for anypony to feel this way after something like this."<br>I nodded, but deep within my heart I knew that she wouldn't understand the terrible guilt bottled inside me. I was dying on the inside. My mind was like a never-ending storm of emotions that blurred my perception of reality. I wanted to live in a fantasy, away from this nightmare that refused to end. She didn't understand, nopony understood that it was I who was to blame for the whole incident. It was because of my arrogance and stupidity that caused _her _to get hurt.  
>My heart beat faster as I remembered those last moments with <em>her<em>.Specifically, it was the last memory of seeing _her _smiling that haunted me then. Her cotton candy tail bounced happily as she trotted, unexpecting the tragedy that would occur a few moments later. I also remembered that it began to rain right after _that _incident and that the rain hasn't stopped for the subsequent days. I wondered if the clouds were watching us when _it _happened. I wondered if they were crying for me. But most importantly, I began to doubt if I would see the sunshine ever again.

Twilight still clung onto me, and even Rarity joined in the bonding. I realized that the world isn't as cruel when the friends like mine bring warmth to my cold heart. I can't deny that I'm a lucky mare because of my friends. The storm seemed to settle a bit, and the echoes of the thunder faded away.  
>"Rainbow," Twilight said, "we miss her too. But, we've got to accept that what happened has already passed and that none of this was your fault."<br>"But, it is." I avoided looking directly into her eyes as I prepared to confess the whole truth. "Nopony knows what I know, what I saw - what I felt!"

"Tell me. Tell me, Rainbow, what really happened?"

"It all started about a month ago, right after the race in Cloudsdale."

* * *

><p>The best of the best; that's who I'm going to be after I finish first in this race. I gazed at the bright blue sky which was vibrantly lit by the blazing Equestrian sun. The wind blew in my favor, and the air was moistureless. Today was the perfect day to fly and to show off my speed. I readied my hooves on the startline, as did the competitors beside me.<p>

"Three!" The pony with the flag shouted.

I adjusted my wings to the breeze, and I could immediately feel that they were ready to take off.

"Two!"

When I win first, I'll be the best. They say one I win, I'll get to fly with the best: the Wonderbolts!

"One!"

This is my time to shine, and today's my only chance.

The sound of a whistle signaled the start of the race. With an explosion, I launched myself high into the air. I loved this feeling of freedom while flying through the air without resistance. It was an amazing experience, unable to be explained by words. The feathers of my wings rustled as I turned into an air stream, effectively doubling speed. I controlled my movements precisely and maneuvered around the obstacles with ease. I turned my head back and saw that by now only half of the racers who started with me trailed in my rainbow dust. But when I faced the finish line off in the distance, there was one pony who was quite far ahead of me. Panicked, I flapped my wings even faster, breaking all the limits of my body that I've known. I closed in on the pony, shortening the distance between us rapidly, but he was still too far. By now, I could clearly distinguish the checkered goal post less than a minute away. I closed my eyes and forgot about fatigue and beat my wings even harder. I felt the static tingle of a sonic rainboom beginning to emerge. A veil of rainbow light formed around my body. Then, with a final wing-flap, I exploded and was propelled through the goalposts at breakneck speeds.

"Goal!"

I collided with the landing cloud and bounded onto the stadium floor. I stumbled discursively, dazed and confused. Did I win? Was I the fastest? Once my senses returned, I saw the pony who was ahead of me lifted up by the fans and being showered with diamonds.  
>"No." I couldn't believe it. "No, this can't be." I was supposed to be the fastest, not this pony! I looked to the giant screen mounted on the stadium wall and saw the enlarged photo finish. I lost the race by a snout length.<br>The situation only worsened. I saw Spitfire, my favorite Wonderbolt and life's inspiration, trot over to the pony and hand him a Wonderbolt suit. Those golden stripes were for me! My knees gave in and I fell over on the ground. I placed my hooves on my head and whimpered. This was the first time I lost anything. No fans cheered for me, instead I could hear them laughing from within the crowds. They all pointed at me with their hooves, laughing at my failure. They didn't think I was the best, because I wasn't the best. I had to escape from this nightmare, and so I flew away as far away from this horrible place.

I flew far, away from the clouds and skimmed over the forests. I didn't care where I would end up, if I would end up anywhere at all, as long as it was away from those ponies. I flew far, but I could still hear their laughter chasing me through the air. The humiliation clung onto me like tar, and the shame burned my pride.  
>A tear bubbled from my eyes and blocked my sight. But before I could wipe it away, My shoulder hit a stray branch, and I dived downwards in a spiral and landed somewhere among the trees.<p>

The landing was soft, as I luckily landed on a bed of flowers. Then I cried. I cried out loud because I was so close to fulfilling my life's dreams - and then I lost it all. How could I face anypony again now that they saw me as a joke? I curled up on the flowers and continued to softly sob to myself.  
>My tears were eventually reduced to sniffles, but I was still in distraught. I still couldn't accept the fact that I lost - that I was a loser. I thought about that pony, and about all the glory he'd be receiving. Only if I wou-<p>

"Hey there!"

Surprised by the voice, I immediately jolted back onto all fours but ended up falling down again. Skipping circles around me was a pink pony with a bouncy mane. It was one of my friends, who I was never close to.  
>She rushed to my side and began to roll around me. "So I was skipping through this forest looking for flowers to put into my cake - because you know you can't make cake without flour - until I heard a noise, which I thought was a scary monster at first, but then I heard that it was crying - and crying is not happy, and I don't like things that aren't happy because that's not fun for anypony - and when I saw that it was Dashie I was <em>so, so, so, so<em> sad and I skipped over to you to help _you,_" she wrapped her hooves around me "because _you _are Dashie!" Then the pony then poked my snout.

I was in utter disbelief. "You can't be real. You're in the middle of nowhere, just picking flowers?"

"Yup!"  
>"You're... different." Although I did want to admit it, I was glad that there was somepony here for me. It was strange that the kindness of strangers was suddenly able to make the depressing thoughts disappear, like magic.<br>"So, why were you crying?"  
>I was hesitant to admit my failure, but I couldn't deny that innocent charm. I told her the whole truth, from my childhood to the recent race.<p>

And she laughed. She rolled over the flowers, chortling her little heart out.  
>"H-Hey!" I was slightly offended by her lack of seriousness.<br>"Oh, silly Dashie! Don't you see? You shouldn't cry over a little race!"  
>"<em>Little?<em>" I lifted my chest higher. "The Cloudsdale Grand Prix is not a _little_ race! It's the most awesomely amazing race in all of Equestria!"  
>"But, it's not only about winning or losing!"<br>"What? Everything is about winning! I've always won! I'm always first!"  
>"But, what about fun?"<br>"What about it?"  
>"Didn't you have fun?"<br>"Yes, but I didn't-"

"Well, that's all I need to know," she said, standing back on all fours. "Anypony is a winner as long as they enjoy doing what they love!"

I pondered the thought. I did have fun racing, and I showed everypony my rainboom. I reflected on my situation. I raced and finished second in the largest race in Equestria, and I almost won - on my first try! I remembered the adrenaline that pumped through my veins in those last seconds, and that this feeling was why I came to love flight. She was right. Winning was nothing compared to the journey that lead up to the race. I remember from my earlier days at the Flight Academy, training for hours well before when sun rose so that I could become somepony great. I remembered the thrill of my first sonic rainboom and the amazing speed. I forgot about the loss, because I knew that I have achieved something even greater from Pinkie's kind words.

"You're smarter than you look, Pinkie."  
>She giggled. Her childishness still made me question if she has ever been serious once in her life.<br>"I think we'll become good friends."  
>She smiled. "I think we will."<p>

The sun was no longer high above us, but off in the horizon, and I could faintly see the moon begin to appear from hiding. The songs of birds began to die out, and they were replaced by the chirping of crickets. We sat in the field of flowers and I watched in amazement as the multi-colored petals began to bloom in front of my eyes.  
>"The friendship flowers," Pinkie said. "They only bloom once at night under the full moon."<br>We watched as the beauty of nature unfolded for us. The flowers, with petals of rainbow, shimmered under the moonlight. We sat there in each others hooves watching the sea of glowing lights grow stronger as the darkness settled. The lights then seemed to dance in the slight breeze, filling the seemingly empty world around us with overwhelmingly vivid life. I never knew such elegance could exist in nature.

It was no coincidence that she and I found each other today. I was grateful that destiny had predetermined my fate with Pinkie. She was a true friend, and she was the one who made me realise my true self-worth. Today, I learned that all anypony really needs in life is for somepony to smile and show them the good in life.

She yawned and gingerly placed her head on my shoulder. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. Her mouth moved, but she was inaudible.  
>I rested my head next to her's, and I myself then began to drowse. The world was quiet again as we lay in the field of lights and under a warm breeze. The world was perfect now, and I never wanted this to change. Before I fell asleep, I wrapped my hooves around her and heard her whisper: "Dashie."<p> 


End file.
